The balance between being pals and partners is always a tricky one. But it’s important as that relationship hugely impacts the joy you get from running the business, so it’s not daft to want to improve it.

I always encourage Co-Founders when they’re starting out to ask each other, ‘how close do you want to be?’. It can seem a slightly awkward question, but it’s key to understand the tone of the relationship you’re both expecting. Do you want photos of their weekend dog walk? Or is this just a 9-5 thing?

That question might feel jarring as you’re already on this journey together. But I’m keen to understand, have you ever talked about the friendship you want between you? Do you feel more deeply about this because you said you’d stay close, and that’s not what’s unfolded? Is this just about the relationship, or also about feeling let down on a commitment you made to each other?

As you’re asking ‘how do I bring it up?’, I get a sense that you’re giving a lot of thought on how to start this conversation. Is there a nervousness or hesitation? If so, why is that? What are you worried about? Are you bringing experiences from previous relationships into the mix here?

When a relationship becomes more distant, I appreciate that conversations like this can make us feel vulnerable. So it might seem like a lot to say, ‘I feel like our friendship isn’t as strong anymore and I want to change that, what do you think?’

But it doesn’t need to start with a deep conversation if that’s uncomfortable. It could simply be, ‘it’s been ages since we’ve caught up as mates, want to go to the pub?’

You also need to accept your role in this. It takes two to keep a friendship. When you look back, do you understand why you drifted and the fun faded? How can you learn from that? 

You have the power to influence this right now. What can you do to bring that fun and friendship back? Think about small everyday things like what / how / when you communicate, up to bigger things like suggesting non-work plans.

Then if it feels right, I’d encourage you to have an open conversation with your Co-Founder about this. Say that you feel the friendship has drifted, they might be thinking the same! And get clear on the benefits of bringing it back. It’s hard for someone to dismiss a conversation about how to make things better.

You spend more time with your Co-Founder than anyone else, so it’s important to have the relationship you want with them.